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Tuesday, 2 of March of 2021

DVD First Watch: Twin Peaks – “The Condemned Woman”

“Every action has its consequences, my dear.”

Twin Peaks title cardLord, ain’t that the truth.

One of the most important aspects of plot and character development is that a character’s every action must lead to an appropriate and proportionate consequence. These consequences are the driving force behind the plot (or at least they should be), the motivation for what a character does and doesn’t do and where the story goes.

For its part, Twin Peaks is just one long string of cause and effect, with perhaps no story so cause-and-effect-y as the tale of Josie Packard, who is the main focus – and titular character – of this episode. Practically everyone she knows uses Josie for their own ends, poor dear. But she is by no means guilt-free.

Girl shot Cooper, y’all.

It seems like Josie was never in control of her life prior to the point in time where we come into the story. Owned by Thomas, then by Andrew, then by Catherine, then Thomas again, then Andrew in a way – she was always the slave to at least one master (oh look, previous episode title alert!). And once she finally decided to try to do something for herself, ti was crime. She shot Cooper (again: how could you, Josie?!) and killed Johnny and completely broke Harry’s heart (her worst crime of all).

Cause and effect: because Josie shot Cooper, he was able to figure out that she shot Johnny, too. Because Cooper figured it out, he was able to confront her about it and promise her jail time. Because of the debacle concerning Andrew, Thomas, and Catherine, Josie wound up being at the mercy of all three. She was consequently manipulated into being exactly where Catherine and Andrew wanted her to be: murdering Thomas.

As Albert said: “There’s an epic of multiple gunshot wounds following this girl around. She’s a menace.”

Apparently she’s a lot more than a mere menace, considering that not seconds after her death, BOB SHOWS UP, OH LORD, I THOUGHT HE WAS GONE. Then the Red Room midget does a little dance on Josie’s (literal) deathbed and she gets turned into a drawer knob. AN¬†ANTHROPOMORPHIC¬†DRAWER KNOB.

SHIT JUST GOT WEIRD. Wait, it was already weird. IT JUST GOT WEIRDER.

Speaking of capslock: HOLY SHIT, YOUNG BILLY ZANE.

So Zane’s Jack Wheeler streamlines and greenergizes businesses. I SMELL BAD NEWS. Especially since Audrey has apparently developed a crush on him which is matched by his interest in her. THIS WILL NOT END WELL.

And now Ben’s a health-nut environmentalist who wants to save endangered species and take down Catherine. (And then he wants to run for Senate. Considering he’s a disturbed megalomaniac, he’s a shoe-in!) These¬†predilections will of course keep Wheeler around for a significant enough amount of time for his and Audrey’s flirtations to become something very effect-y indeed. (Oh, Audrey. What happened to your plans to be a female agent and pursue Cooper to the ends of time? Why would you choose always creepy Billy Zane instead?)



  • Continuity Isn’t Hard (TM) – Coop’s eye.
  • Things I love: Hawk and Albert.
  • Oh my word. Jerry is wearing leather pants. I DON’T EVEN KNOW.
  • “Excuse me. The chef just tried to stab Jerry.”

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