Monsters of Television

“Soon there will be anarchy. And then there will be me.”

Recovering from last week’s Faerygate, True Blood reminded us of evils of non-supernatural origins. In a show featuring vampires and werewolves and (fuckin’) faeries, there are still many real and terrible demons of other kinds that people have to face.

And Sam’s are coming out of the woodwork.

After a look back at Sawyer Sam’s past last week it seems it is catching up to him in a hurry. His anger issues getting the best of him, he goes on a drunken tirade, kicking all patrons out of Merlotte’s and insulting Terry, Arlene, Tommy and Holly.

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“I’m a faery? How fucking lame.”

My thoughts exactly, Sookie.

The faery’s out of the bag. The mystery behind “What is Sookie Stackhouse?” has been revealed and I’ve gotta say it’s pretty fucking stupid. I mean like “Who’s on the list?” and “Who’s Claire’s dad?” and every other Heroes mystery reveal stupid. A telepath with some sweet powers was enough of an explanation for me but when they started teasing there was more to Sookie than that I was pretty pumped for what the true source of her power was. All I was left thinking after this episode was “What the Puck?”.

That’s why her blood tastes so good. That’s why she has the powers that she does. That’s why everyone finds her so irresistible. Blah blah faery fuckin’ blah. I don’t know why the introduction of faeries to a show that includes vampires, werewolves, shifters, maenads, etc. upsets me so much but it does. It really does.

And it’s that terribly disappointing intro that set the tone for a somewhat meh overall episode. Even putting the faery business aside (which was very hard to do) “I Smell a Rat” sure smelled a lot worse than just a sewer dwelling rodent.

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We’ll discuss it later.

It’s been a busy week at Monsters of Television. This whole “summer-is-just-another-season/no-rest-for-the-weary” thing the networks are doing is wearing me out. But we can’t really complain about some of the great television we’re getting. Well, mostly great television. Hopefully Melissa & Joey doesn’t create a great abyss that sucks the life out of everything we hold dear. Forget the atomic collider in Switzerland: that show might obliterate the universe on its own, unraveling the fabric of time and space with ill-timed canned laughter and overacting that would make the cast of SNL blush.

Sorry. I digress.

We have some really great reviews for you to take a look at this week, from Mad Men to True Blood to Sherlock to, gods help us, that aforementioned pit of despair. If you missed any, it’s new to you!

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“Why would we seek equal rights? You are not our equals. We will eat you. After we eat your children. Now time for the weather. Tiffany.”

Everything is broken indeed.

As Russell ’s plans continue to move forward, with more rage now due to the murder of his beloved Talbot, things aren’t looking so great for a whole lot of people. Even those in story lines only vaguely (or not at all) connected to the overall “Russell’s bid for ultimate power and dominance over humans” aren’t having such a good time right now. Makes sense. With only three episodes left in the season things have got to get even worse for our characters before they can get better. But do they ever really get better? Bon Temps is kind of a shitty place to live what with all the drug trafficking, evil orgies, murder and the like occurring on a regular basis.

But it makes for good TV. And in the end that’s all that matters.

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“I’m bored. Take off your clothes.”

Oh my.

The sex and violence contained in the last 10 minutes of “Night on the Sun” alone should be enough to convert any former nonbeliever. The beauty of it (besides all the naked bodies) is it’s not just for spectacle. There is shock value, sure, but there’s real story progression and character development behind it. And probably the most unbelievable part of it: it made Sookie likable. For 10 minutes anyway.

Let’s be honest: Sookie sucks. She’s whiny and stubborn and impossibly, idiotically impulsive. However, this season has managed to do a great job in getting characters and the audience alike to really want to know what the hell she is. While I too find myself staring up at my ceiling as I lie in bed on Sundays night pondering “Just what are you, Sookie Stackhouse?” it doesn’t make me like her as a character. Put a pair of scissors and a shotgun in her hands and then she gets a little more interesting.

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“Please don’t kill me, I’m pregnant. That probably just makes you want to eat me even more.”

True Blood has always been a show about character. First and foremost. Set in a mostly realistic world, the season storylines have always been more about how it paints parallels to the real world and the way it affects the characters. While this season overall is about power struggles between vampire kingdoms and between races of supernatural beings, it really comes down to character which in essence means it’s about people. As the stakes are being raised, both literally and figuratively, “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues” showed us that emotions run high even when you’re dead and vampires aren’t necessarily the epitome of perfection.

Greed, love and jealousy aren’t just emotions reserved for humans. It seems that even in living forever these feelings do as well. With every week we learn more and more how crazy Franklin is but it’s also apparent why he is the way he is. He’s said his work is his life, he doesn’t have much time for himself or relationships. Is that not something a lot of us can relate to? Sure, it doesn’t excuse kidnapping Tara and riding her every word and action as obsessively as he does, but he gets what’s coming to him as Tara puts an escape plan into action which involves drinking Franklin’s blood and bashing his skull in with a mace.

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“I’m a vampire, not a fucking idiot.”

HBO didn’t air a new episode of True Blood last Sunday. I guess they don’t think vampires are American enough. They divvy up land how they see fit, feel vastly superior to all others around them and suck the blood of others for sustenance. Sounds pretty American to me.

After a week off, things seem to be vamping amping up quite quickly. A third of the season is over and done with and with as many character and story convergences “9 Crimes” gave us, that fan is gonna be covered in shit for quite some time. Is that to say everything going on is interesting? Not necessarily right now. But there is oh so much potential. Except for Tara. My god, just kill her already.

In a scene we’ve all been waiting for since watching (and rewatching and rewatching) the season three promo, Bill breaks up with Sookie. He tells her he doesn’t want to be found and tells Sookie (and reminds the audience) of the crazy vampire sex he and Lorena had. Of course this is all so Sookie won’t come looking for him and he can keep her safe while he deals with Lorena and Russell. But he should know better than that as this only makes Sookie want to find him more.

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“If you plan on rescuing a vampire during daylight I have seriously overestimated your intelligence.”

Ensemble casts are great, but they can be a bitch to keep in check. In just three episodes True Blood has introduced a number of new faces this season and it’s started to spread everyone, both old and new, relatively thin. Of course during a show’s run certain characters are going to have to sit in the backseat from time to time (isn’t that right Chase and Cameron from House M.D.?) but everyone at once?

The first two episodes of the season were shot out of a high-speed cannon, hurtling us right into the story. But after “It Hurts Me Too” we’re left to pick up the little pieces of story and character shrapnel spread out all over the place. And they’re very little pieces. Now this isn’t to say the episode was bad, it wasn’t, there is just so much going on with so many different people that everything feels rushed. It doesn’t help that not everyone has an interesting storyline either. Let’s start with some of our newcomers.

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“You’re going to invite me in so I can protect you. Or have passionate, primal sex with you. How about both?”

The ties that bind us to the people in our lives are extremely important. Be it family, friendship or protecting you from a group of werewolves who have kidnapped your boyfriend (I hate it when that happens) the people in your life are there for a reason. As revelations lead to more questions, True Blood sets alliances as season 3 continues to waste no time getting down to business.

Give Nelsan Ellis an Emmy right now. He played his scenes with so much emotional subtext under an unusually calm exterior. After stopping Tara from swallowing a bunch of pills Lafayette lays into her, telling her he’s not ready to plan her funeral so she can’t leave him yet. Then he takes her to see his mother, Ruby, who’s been in a mental institution for 6 months. Lafayette walks into the room like a scolded puppy as Ruby announces her son is dead, “God killed him because he’s a fagot”, but he keeps on showing up. Tara thinks they’re there to have her committed as well but Lafayette wanted to show Tara to emphasize the darkness in their family. The two of them have to stick together to ensure they don’t end up like their mothers. Here we also learn this is why Lafayette engages in some of the…less than legal activities that he does. Keeping his mother there is very expensive but he pays for it because he doesn’t want to take care of her himself. Read more »

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“I’m in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam.”

The wait is finally over! After 9 months True Blood is back and wasting no time jumping right in. The first few minutes were dedicated to “remember this character and what they were doing?” which is always an appreciated season premiere tactic. But it wasn’t just story we were being reminded of, also tone and style. “Remember how much True Blood loves violence and tits?” As if we could forget. From a group of werewolves chowing down on Vampire Bill to Eric’s 6 hour sexcapade with new Fangtasia dancer Yvetta (6 hours!?) it didn’t take long for us all to say “Why yes, I remember you, True Blood. Welcome back.” Read more »

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