Monsters of Television

Who’d a thunk it? Fox’s Gordon Ramsay-hosted cheeseball collection of recycled reality tropes, Master Chef, is ringing more authentic than Bravo’s Top Chef. Diagnosing the trouble with Top Chef this season has been a preoccupation of mine. But now they are moving into dangerous territory—where I dislike so many of the chefs that I no longer want any of them to win. Save one. More on my horse in this race after the jump…

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Popularity: 7%

Queen of Mediocrity--and winner?

Okay, I have finally figured it out. You see, Top Chef sucks this year on purpose. It is part of their master plot to issue a gigantic commentary on politics. No really, I mean it. This is the only explanation for all the nonsense this season. You know you want to hear more.

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Popularity: 12%

Name this chef. No, really, can you name her?

Last week’s Top Chef generated some testy reviews—when it generated any reviews at all, that is. This hasn’t been the most blogged about season of Top Chef, lacking characters that can offer the intense competition of season six’s Voltaggio brothers, the lovable quirkiness of season five’s Carla, and the amusing bromance of Spike and Mark in season 4. There’s also a serious and troubling dearth of likeability—where’s the Fabio? The Richard? In essence, there’s a lack of personality—more about this after the jump. But first, let’s look at other mean things people are saying about the episode, “Room Service”…

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Popularity: 3%

Top Chef is back, and it has invaded the nation’s capitol. This means, among other things, that Nancy Pelosi will be guesting on the program (!). The contestants seem reasonably adequate. So far, Kenny and Angelo are running at the head of the pack, with Angelo’s ego spotlighted by the editing. But ever since Hosea’s (devastating, to me) win, I’ve suspected that consistent mediocrity may be a better strategy than taking the lead at the sound of the starting gun.

But let’s get real—you don’t care about that, right? I know I was on the edge of my seat to see how Padma Lakshmi looks this year, post-baby. And? She looks…

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Popularity: 4%