Monsters of Television

“We’ve got intruders!”

A couple of weeks ago, I was dozing while watching some special on History about death masks, and in between my dozing and finding out that George Washington was vain, I saw promos for the The Colony, a show on Discovery Channel. Judging from the promos, it was the answer to the question many started asking after Survivor had gone through a few cycles: “Why isn’t there an urban survivor? Let’s see them try and eek out a living in a rough neighborhood.” And some producer heard that idea, liked it, and, being a producer, added, “Let’s make this rough neighborhood actually a ’safe zone’ after something pretty apocalyptic has wiped out most of the human race!”

Thus The Colony was born.

I wasn’t aware, when I saw the promos, that the series had actually already done a season last summer (I don’t watch a lot of Discovery Channel, History, etc.), but as it’s a reality show, and only in its second season, there’s not a huge need to go and catch up on season 1 (though I can grab the last 5 if I want). Already with one episode, I kind of get the jist of what each episode will be like. Read more »

Popularity: 4%

“Oh, good. I got you while you’re vulnerable.”

I don’t like to read the advance reviews of a show, not necessarily for the spoilers but because I don’t like things to skew my perspective, making me pay attention to things that are within the bias of a reviewer that gets paid to consume. That’s not to say anything bad about professional reviewers. It might end up that I become one someday for all I know. This is mostly a warning for you, the reader. I did not receive an advance copy of this episode like so many did weeks ago, as evidenced by some hub-bub over a reviewer’s responsibility with spoilers, so my thoughts on the episode might be rudimentary and not as thoughtful as those who have been able to ruminate on content of season premiere.

Did that come off spiteful? I didn’t mean for it to come off spiteful.

Although there is a lot of spite in this episode so maybe it’s rubbing off on me. With the divorce and Betty and Don sniping at each other plus everyone in the office being angry with Don for a botched PR opportunity compounded with Don getting angry with clients for being prudes, and we can even say the new agency itself is in spite of their former corporate owners, this is an episode based in spite. Even the actresses Peggy and Pete hire for a publicity stunt are spiteful toward each other.

Oh, did I mention that, with all the hype going on about and around Mad Men that I assume you don’t mind a spoiler or two if you’re reading this review? I didn’t? Oh well. You should be watching it live anyway since it probably is the best show on television never to get above a 1.0 in Male 18-49. Let that be your lesson.

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Popularity: 4%

“In this line of work, there’s no such thing as ‘no such thing.’“

Warehouse 13 was, to me anyway, the linchpin program in the Sci-Fi Channel’s transition to Syfy. It’s perceived nerd appeal isn’t terribly high since it’s more about historical nerdery than it is about sci-fi nerdery, something probably more palatable to general audiences (yes, I’m suggesting a cable channel is aiming for a general audience, this is nothing new).

And Warehouse 13 continues this approachable and fun tone with its second season premiere, picking up right where it left off in the finale last year, but the series is entirely jumpable into, so if you haven’t seen the first season, you’ll be okay starting with this episode. Read more »

Popularity: 3%

“Party, Bender! Party for your life!”

Returning from a long hiatus is quite the double edged sword. Fans will praise a show’s comeback and yet are often quick to doubt that it can return to any semblance of its former glory. Family Guy (as tired as it is now) was able to rise the successful phoenix from the ashes of cancellation. The Boondocks has been able to do the same for the most part after its 2 year disappearance.

Futurama was canceled in 2003, but thanks to the resuscitation machine that is Adult Swim and a number of direct to DVD movies it hardly feels like it went anywhere. Now with its return on Comedy Central with a brand new slew of episodes, can Futurama continue the trend and reclaim (and maintain) its position as one of the greatest animated shows in TV history? My answer is…

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Popularity: 5%

“I say we kill him and make his underage whore watch.”

Hot In Cleveland is fascinatingly bad, but it is bad.

There's a joke in here somewhere.

As I’ve made clear, I don’t think you can chalk up all the good or all the bad to a show’s format. Sure, the show is setting up jokes and knocking them down in very old-fashioned ways, but I don’t think this is really an issue (at least for me). The set-up/punchline structure isn’t a liability since everyone is an old pro at this (except Valerie Bertinelli, who seems to be channeling Miley Cyrus in her broad approach to comedy).

No, I think the problem is in the show’s ideology. The show is clearly pushing back against the LA/NYC binary of relationships, but the show’s characters are so age-conscious, gender-conscious, and class-conscious that it just feels like the show is pandering to its target demos instead of trying to be funny and do social commentary (or reverse the order, either way I’m fine). Read more »

Popularity: 4%

“I’m in no mood for lesbian weirdness tonight, Pam.”

The wait is finally over! After 9 months True Blood is back and wasting no time jumping right in. The first few minutes were dedicated to “remember this character and what they were doing?” which is always an appreciated season premiere tactic. But it wasn’t just story we were being reminded of, also tone and style. “Remember how much True Blood loves violence and tits?” As if we could forget. From a group of werewolves chowing down on Vampire Bill to Eric’s 6 hour sexcapade with new Fangtasia dancer Yvetta (6 hours!?) it didn’t take long for us all to say “Why yes, I remember you, True Blood. Welcome back.” Read more »

Popularity: 4%

“Always use the mike.”

I don’t really like watching stand-up specials on TV. Listen to them? Absolutely. But watching them? Yawn. It’s something about the pacing of the special (often interrupted by commercials), a 90 minute set boiled down to an hour kills the momentum. Now I remember why I stopped watching Last Comic Standing atfer Jay Mohr left. It’s boring. Really boring.

Early on, host Craig Robinson ponders why this show happened. I know why: NBC needed some really cheap summer programming, and no one is cheaper than stand-up comedians who haven’t produced oodles of cash for a network.

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Popularity: 3%

“He’s like the guardian angel of all the chefs.”

I’m going to go ahead and say it: I think The Next Food Network Star has been a massive failure for Food Network. At least in terms of creating stars.

With the start of its sixth season, the show has created one legitimate star in Guy Fieri, host of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives and Guy’s Big Bite (and, on NBC, Minute to Win It). Its other winners haven’t fared so well. The winner two seasons ago, Aaron McCargo (aka Big Daddy of Big Daddy’s House) (no, it’s not a Tyler Perry show), has done okay for himself in the network’s Saturday morning line-up, but hasn’t really broken out for the network.

The rest of its winners? Cancelled. Quit. Barely existing.

So why does the network keep putting audiences through this show? Is it so Bobby Flay can annoy me some more (and cash another paycheck (does he even work at his restaurants any longer?))? Is it so Bob Tuschman can continue to challenge Anderson Cooper for the Silver Fox of TV Award? Or is it so Susie Fogelson can…I don’t know, frown a lot?

It’s none of the reasons. Go back up to the first line. Notice the qualifying phrase? Yep, The Next Food Network Star doesn’t exist to find a star. It exists to sell audience on the idea of the network. It exists to showcase how the network goes through a(n absurd) casting process and then sell it to their advertisers. This way, even if the they don’t find someone that works (and they’ve only hit platinum blonde once), they’ve still made a buck off of all these people. Read more »

Popularity: 5%

“This whole business needs a little Michael Westen.”

I didn’t watch season 3 of Burn Notice too closely. I watched the summer portion with a fair amount of dedication, but the winter portion somehow slipped by me. When I tuned in for episodes, I wondered where Detective Paxson went and why Gilroy really mattered that much (he felt like a stall). It made the season a bit of a mess for me, but the finale won me back with its oddly disturbing final shot and an eagerness to see if the arc for the season would be a little clearer.

“Friends and Enemies” is a decent season premiere. It essentially lays the groundwork for the coming season with the standard Client of the Week plot as the primary focus. It’s a structure the show has used for most of its run, but one I’m hoping the show, with its set-up this season, will eventually begin to integrate better. Read more »

Popularity: 2%

“Not give a shit, like a human being.”

Party Down is a show that I only know from Netflix Watch Instantly. I don’t get Starz ( orany premium cable for that matter), so I didn’t find out about the show until last winter when I mainlined the series. At first I wasn’t keen on the show, but about four episodes in the show and I found each other, and I can feel very confident in declaring it a brilliant comedy series that needs more and more eyeballs watching it.

To introduce the show, since I’m sure a few of you may not be watching it (yet), I’ll simply say it deals with the trials and tribulations of a group of catering service employees, all of whom have grander dreams than to serve little sandwiches at really weird functions (ranging from a botched sweet 16 party to a celebration of a Russian mobster). Each episode finds the cast in a new situation, so functions as a workplace comedy with an ever changing workplace.

But the show is also a squirm comedy, like Curb Your Enthusiasm (though not nearly as squirm-inducing). It’s happy to take apart social mores, but more with a sly wink than a pregnant linger like Curb. It’s a show that’s funny and heart breaking, with sublime writing and stellar acting. You need to be watching it. Read more »

Popularity: 1%